I was searching a quiet, dark corner for myself, so that I would be unseen. Many emotions have been running around endlessly inside me. Joy because everything worked as I planned. Fear, because today was the first time I would try to apparate. Alright, I was only 15 and one was only allowed to apparate from the age of 17, but not me, that's why I was in all that farce. Now I had a non registered wand and I planned to use it. Besides I read all about this topic and I felt relatively comfortably prepared. As I said, this law again was a arbitrary act of the ministry!
Thus, I didn't think about it too much, but rather breathed deeply through my lunges three times, focused myself on the inner core of my magic and held my new wand tightly in my right fist. As soon as my concentration was strong enough, I focused, as described in the books, the place I wanted to re-appear, my parents garden. Just as I visualized it, I swung my wand in the hand motion that I had practiced, and anxiously held my breath.
It felt like all the air would squeeze itself out of my lungs and myself, my whole body would be pulled through a very tight garden hose. I permanently twisted around myself, like a spinning top, I pinched my eyes together at the same time, because I knew if I would want to focus myself I wasn't allowed to get distracted. It would've been fatal, to lose control in this circumstance, I needed to constantly think about my destination, otherwise it could happen that I splinched myself. That’s what the law of the ministry was all about, because kids used to have such a bad concentrativeness. Sure, if one would think about Ron or Neville, both of them would still kill themselves today.
Ehw, I felt sick! Soon, I wouldn't be able to hold that strain any longer. I could feel, how sweat formed itself on my forehead. The wand in my hand trembled pathetically. The moment I thought I wouldn't be able to bear the strain any longer, my body finally got released out of this squeezing tightness. Finally, confused I blinked and recognized our garden. Phew! Little graceful I slumped, breathlessly, but with a relieved sigh to my knees, into the grass. Focused I breathed in and out, to stop the dizziness in my head. Still, everything was spinning around me. Very well, apparating wasn't that easy!
But for my first time, without any help, I thought it wasn't that bad! Especially since I even overcame a greater distance. Since in Hogwarts one learned the magical jump in smaller stages, from circle to circle. Well, I have to blame myself.
Actually one learned apparition for weeks, to learn the basics and after that one get taught how to do greater, further jumps, not the other way around. But as I said, as my eyes flew frantically over my body, everything went well, I realized happily I was still complete. A mischievous grin spread across my lips, even though my head hurt. Today was a good day, no, stop, a good night! Yes, I needed to learn to love night more than the day, to become one with it, if I would want to convert my plans, as I planned to do.
Not to fear it, but to indulge myself to it, like a good friend, which would perform good service for me, that should be my aim.
Oh yes, a lot would change in the next time!
But back to the present. I swayed myself up from the ground and stretched my body. It felt like, one would have sore muscles in its limbs. My legs felt very wobbly. I assumed it was everything a question of practice. But I've always been good at that. Night was young, lets get to work. The garden would be my great hall, just without the rings. I focused myself and jumped from one end to the other, back and forth, to the side, faster and faster.
After an hour of wildly disappearing and reappearing back and forth, I exhaustedly and sweating dropped down on our big oak. My lunges dismissed my rattling breath. With a harsh gesture of my hand I stroked my fake hair out of my face, sweat glittering on it. My head dropped on my neck and totally exhausted I closed my eyes. Heaven, this was a hard piece of work.. My body.. I felt like I've been puked out and I felt sick too. Still, I felt already better, because I didn't feel dizzy anymore and I didn't need as much focus as on my first time, to get where I wanted to be.
I stopped for today, as it was almost three o’clock in the morning and I had things to do later on, a good reason to focus on far routes, so that I would be able to perfect those too. Thus I dragged myself, tired as I was, as quiet as possible, as I thought the sleeping potions of my parents wouldn't act as strong as before, up the stairs in my own bedroom. I pulled my clothes over my head, threw the fake hair in a corner and dropped, just in my underwear, totally exhausted on my bed and engulfed very quickly in a deep, almost comatose sleep.